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How to Strengthen your Boundaries

If you grew up in a dysfunctional home where a parent drank or raged, chances are you thought it was your job to become a peacemaker to make others feel good.  (It wasn’t.)  This behavior calmed the battle around you for a while, but it robbed you of your integrity.  It also attracted angry people to heal this pattern.  If this is your pattern, you’ve lacked the knowledge that it’s not your responsibility to make everyone happy.  Especially since it comes at the high price of your own peace and happiness.

Adding a vitamin to your diet makes up for a nutritional deficiency; adding an affirmation to your mental diet overcomes errors in thinking.  Here are three for boundary deficiency:
I am responsible for my feelings and emotions and everyone else is responsible for his.    cb best shot
I create the pleasure and pain in my life and others do the same in theirs.
I can support others without taking on their problems.

How to Transform your Mind for Prosperity

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-between.”
—Johnny Mercer

What was true in the hey-day of Broadway’s Tin Pan Alley is as true today in the new millennium.  If you want a transformation in, say, your finances, remove the resistance to prosperity that festers in your Unconscious from 20,000 meals you ate growing up at home.  A powerful way to transform your mind is by accentuating the positive, as the songwriter wrote, and latching on to the affirmative.
moneyskyHere’s an extremely good one to latch onto: “My mind is a money magnet.”  Write the affirmation, then the resistance that comes up from your subconscious mind; suppose it’s: “My mind is lazy and uncreative.”  Writing the response releases it from your being.  Next step: create a new affirmation to treat this resistance; a good one is: “My connection to the Higher Power of the Universe energizes my mind with creative ideas and attracts opportunities to me.”   What’s powerful about this technique is that you’re releasing everything that stands in the way of the affirmation manifesting. Do this affirmation process daily for at least 10 minutes a day until it becomes your reality.

How to Stimulate your Creativity

One of the best ways to deepen your connection to your Muse—your creative Source–is an exercise called Discovery Writing.  It taps the infinite creativity of your subconscious mind to enhance your creative output; increase income; enrich relationships; organize your life; deepen your spiritual connection, and so on.  

Here’s how it works. Write one objective you want to work on at the top of the page.  Let’s say it’s “20 Things I Can Do to Increase My Income 25 Per Cent this Month.”  (If you want to double your income, then use that as a goal.)  Then, for two minutes, keep your pen moving. Set a timer.  Jot down whatever is in your mind, even if no sensible income-stimulating idea is there, never letting the pen be idle for a second.  Even if it’s seemingly off-topic like “chocolate chip cookies.” Who knows—maybe you can make money selling the cookies you bake in your spare time. (Debbi Fields sure did before she thrived as Mrs. Fields.)  Maybe you just need an occasional milk and cookies break. Your inner child might be trying to give you a tip that all work and no cookies make you a dull boy. The act of letting creative juices flow without editorial censorship opens you to provocative ideas from the Unconscious.  From this, I developed new workshop ideas, ideas for books, and names of people who could expand my work.  After two minutes, put down your pen and look at your list. If any idea appeals to your rational mind, consider acting upon it the way you’d act upon any good idea.

How Your Cat can help Enlighten You


Ananda, the Buddha cat

My cat is a 10-pound little Buddha whom I named Ananda (Sanskrit for bliss) because she purrs faster than any cat I’ve ever known. She’s taught me volumes, just as your cat can teach you, and just as many other cats have taught the people who love them. A small piece of the Zen teachings of my cat follows.

1) Think highly enough of yourself so that others will be attracted to you.

2) Allow yourself to be pleasured, so that others will drop what they are doing to pleasure you in abundance.

3) Let others support and feed you.

4) Let others hold and touch you.

5) Cuddle up to people; it makes you (and them) feel great.

6) Nap when you feel like it; it’s good for your soul, and not bad for your body, either.

7) It’s innocent to be the center of attention.

8) Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat; it thrills it.

9) The more playful you are, the more you’re loved and the more you prosper.

10) Most of all, when you’re happy, let the whole world know it and purr away—you’ll be feline groovy.

What you can Learn about Life from Animals

40.340_SL1Who says you can’t coach with the animals?   In indigenous cultures, animals often serve as spirit guides to shamans or anyone sensitive to the world’s aliveness.  In the WB movie, The Lone Ranger, Silver was the legendary masked man’s white horse and his spirit guide.  Hi yo, spirit guide!

If you allow yourself to be coached by animals, you can learn invaluable lessons.  A dog will give you the rare experience of being loved unconditionally. In your marriage you’ll not find unconditional love.  Husbands sometimes don’t hear the end of it from their spouses when they leave the toilet seat up and wives sometimes catch flack for taking way too long to get ready for a night out.

Cats will show you how full of wonder life is when your natural curiosity is awakened.  A duck lets water roll off his back, which demonstrates that you can let stress roll off yours.  A camel will lead you to your potential to endure much more than you can imagine, and a donkey demonstrates how to handle burdens without complaining.

On the more pleasurable side… a dolphin, playfully diving in and out of the ocean, can give you a glimpse of what life would be like if you took such pleasure in waking up each morning.   A rabbit, Nature’s great procreator, embodies the joy of sex and breeding.

Animals can even coach you on your finances.   A squirrel, for example, is a great saver, and can inspire you to put part of your current bounty away for the future. A bird builds a nest egg and, with the aid of a good financial manager, so can you.

There’s much to learn from four-legged friends, as well as those who swim the ocean depths or fly the boundless skies.

How to Visit a Parent with Alzheimer's

Mom CaryThis happy story about my 88-year-old mother, who had Alzheimer’s Disease (, may bring tears to your eyes.   Mom enjoyed the moment, even if it was a visit from her son who she carried for nine months, lived with for 18 years, bragged about for 25 more, but didn’t know from Adam.  She thought I was her brother, who died at 91; her husband (a corpse for 10 years); or her father (who’d be 118 if he wasn’t dead for 25 years). So much for my liveliness.

When I arrived, she was kissing a stuffed animal like a new-born grandchild. When your mother has Alzheimer’s, you go with her reality, so I asked if it was her daughter.  She said yes, so we played with her flesh and blood stuffed animal.  Mom laughed excitedly, and asked repeatedly, “We’re having a wonderful time, aren’t we?”  We were.  I hadn’t laughed like that with my mother since I played with stuffed animals.  It was the most enjoyable time I remember spending with my mother.

Mom had no past and no future—only an eternal present which, like a child, she enjoyed immensely.  She was an 88-year-old wheelchair-bound child.  My heart broke to see what became of the mind of the woman who brought me into the world and brought me up to join it.  If the dark cloud of Alzheimer’s has a silver lining, it’s clearly that the so-called sufferer has much to teach us (, also here is a great article called “Caregiving Tips:  Strategies for Success.”  The following things I learned from my mother during this visit–things you can incorporate into your life starting now:

1. Enjoy the present because that’s all you have.
2. It doesn’t matter what time it is, because time doesn’t exist.
3. You don’t have to know who people are, or what they do for a living, to have a ball with them.
4. Stuffed animals make great playmates and, if necessary, friends or family members.